Dating Mayhem!
by munching muffins
Summary: HIATUS. Hitsugaya just wanted to spend a date with Hinamori in peace! What if two shinigamis decided to follow him on his date so they can take a few... sneak peeks?
1. First Move, First Disaster

Hey again guys! This came out when YuuyaHana and I yesterday had an online chat, and then we started to built this story. She agreed on making an Indonesian language and mine with English. Oh and, Natsume is YuuyaHana's OC and Hokairi is mine.

I don't own Bleach, yada... yada...

* * *

"Jacket, check! Flowers, check! Jeans, check! All done."

Some might thought this is a little a bit out of character to hear, that the captain of the 10th division, the snow-white haired prodigy, the boy with the height of (have I gone too far?), Hitsugaya Toshiro is preparing for his date.

With whom? No, no! Don't tell me! Is it Rangiku? Nope, that'd be pedophile. Is it Karin? The only they ever done was play soccer, and that was not even count to be a real scene to happen. Rukia? She's taken. Anyone who dares to touch had to go through strawberry-boy and pineapple-head first! Orihime? She had too much people chasing her already, I don't think Hitsugaya would be the person to date someone so… innocently playgirl? How 'bout Yachiru? Okay, whose idea was this? Oh, just get on with it!

The answer is of course, absolutely without a doubt, Hinamori Momo, fukutaicho of the 5th division. He had so much to admire her about, and for a prodigy, this little crush of his seems to be a little too obvious.

_Flashback_

"_I'm getting in first!"_

"_No way, Hokairi-chan! I'm first!"_

_Noises seemed to come from the 10__th__ division's captain's office's door. Hitsugaya then lazily opened the door. Therefore, 2 shinigamis fell from the door. 3__rd__ seat of the 10__th__ division, Arashi Natsume, was placed above the other shinigami's back, nearly framing her with her hands on the floor, while the other shinigami, 7__th__ seat of the 11__th__ division, Jasune Hokairi, was laying on her stomach, with her face on the carpet flat out. _

"_Ya know, it ain't gonna hurt if you buy a softer carpet than this one."_

"_What are you two doing here?" the obsidian eyed prodigy asked, not really that curious, but hey, who wouldn't ask when two shinigamis were eavesdropping on the door, then instead of asking permission to go inside the office, they just fell out of nowhere?_

"_Ah! Taicho!" Natsume air-kicked her friend out of the way and started to clean her robes, just checking if there's any dust anywhere. Wouldn't want to have an unworthy appearance in front of her captain now, would she? "Nice weather, huh taicho? Laughter everywhere, the sun is shining; everybody's working so early, Matsumoto's… still sleeping?"_

"_Just get on with it, Natsume-chan. Ask the question flat out." Hokairi said while holding a plastic-full of ice on her head, as the result of her face that hit the carpet earlier. Stupid, evil carpet._

"_No, it's not nice today, 3__rd__ seat. The weather is practically 72 degrees outside, and because of the hot weather today, Matsumoto decided to take a day off like she always did."_

"_Well, I'm not surprised."_

_There lay the fukutaicho of the 10__th__ division, Matsumoto Rangiku. As they could see, as lazy as ever she was sleeping on the sofa, paperwork on side of the table next to her, and unsurprisingly, none had been done. _

"_Anyhow, taicho. We want to ask you something. Do you like Hinamori-kun? As in, like like?"_

_Hitsugaya was so shocked but he said nothing. Arms crossed in front of his chest, his face still neutral, but the dark red shade that came across his face was hard to miss._

"_We just noticed that you've been kinda off lately around her, and the fact that 5 sheets of paperwork that was sent from 10__th__ to 11__th__ had the name 'Hinamori Momo' on it." She paused for a minute. "Hey, this thing's plenty good. I guess this is the thing called 'green tea'. Yumichika had some but never wanted to share with me. He said it was germs or something. He gave me coffee instead. Yuck! Can I have some?"_

"_Hitsugaya-taicho, you've been kind of stressed lately. Going out with Momo once in a while won't hurt you. In fact, we would like to help. Right, Jasune-san?"_

_Hokairi just nodded in agreement. Although she really wanted Hitsugaya-taicho and Hinamori-fukutaicho to get together, her mind was kinda occupied with the tea. _

"_OUT! NOW!"_

_Natsume and Hokairi, even though he was just a kid, ran as fast as they could out of the office. But then again…_

"_I ain't leaving until I get my tea."_

_Hitsugaya threw her a box of teabags, just enough for her to use for a week. Or maybe if she decided to go on beverage-diet, a month should be enough. _

"_Moonlight is the best place for makin' out, remember that Hitsugaya-taicho."_

"_**OUT!!!"**_

"_I'm goin', I'm goin'."_

_End of flashback_

For once, Natsume and Hokairi were right. He braced his balls, asked Momo to go out with him, and guess what? She said 'yes'. Damn straight. Lucky runt…

He put on his hooded jacket over his white tank top, and also put on loose jeans that went above his ankles. The jacket was neatly ironed, it was forest green just like his eyes, and it had a wide pocket sewed on the stomach and had 2 unsown sides that act as holes for Hitsugaya's hands to rest in. Although, he prefer not to. He prefers the pockets on the sides of the jeans instead.

After he was satisfied on how he looked in the mirror, he picked up the flowers he prepared for Hinamori and off he went to the 5th division, where his precious date awaits.

* * *

Unfortunately, he didn't know that two mischievous shinigamis were spying on him.

"Ugh! Maybe you should hold the camera. Climbing a tree isn't exactly easy while holding something."

"I'm not exactly a good cameraman –then again, I'm a girl, but I'll take it anyway."

"But hey, Arashi-san, you're the one who got the 'let's spy on Hitsugaya-taicho while he's on a date with Hinamori-kun' idea in the first place."

"I can't help it. I'm a HitsuHina supporter after all. Besides, you've got the same pairing disease as I do."

"Ya got a point. I've been reading fanfiction lately. I've read about Edward x Winry from Fullmetal Alchemist. And then there's Roy x Riza, and for some reason I develop a huge crush on Envy and disgust towards Roze. I hate that girl."

"I knew I shouldn't have let Kurosaki let you sneak into his computer in the first place."

Silence. Owl noises. Camera clicking, nothing interesting to be taken a photo of yet. Cricket noises. Tumbleweed rolling by…

"Achoo!"

"Bless you."

"Arigato"

"Dou itashimashite. Man, taicho's taking forever! We've been waiting here for 3 hours! I don't even know that my taicho's needs preparations like a girl. Speaking of which, how come you're allowed to be here?"

"I have my ways."

"You mean bribe your fukutaicho with candies and sweet stuffs and tell her to shut up and cover you?"

"Something like that." She said with a sly smirk.

"Damn, you can bribe anyone with sweet stuffs."

"Anyone except your taicho," Hokairi said as-a-matter-a-factly "Oh, and let's not forget Kuchiki-taicho."

"Hey rumors said that your fukutaicho's crushing on him. Is that true?"

"Dunno. She's a kid, how should I know? Even though she's a kid, she's one smart duck. Hey, get your ass up, the show's on!"

Hitsugaya tried to walk as calmly as he could toward the 5th division's door. His gaze fell upon the bouquet he held in his hand. The bouquet consists of daffodils, the symbol of the 10th division. They're as anyone would say, hopeful. Not that you can actually wish for something from the flower, but intentionally the flower gave the sign of rebirth and hope to start something and don't stop until it's complete. The daffodils were complimented by a few jasmines and lilacs around the corners.

Cold and mysterious, they might say. Many people may don't contrast yin and yang very well. But as any good life balancer knows, one must first be sure on what to face and what to resolve. Just like Hitsugaya and Hinamori, much like a very good yin yang contrast. However, it's very easy for them to settle the differences between them and became best friends, and starting tonight, lovers.

He inhaled for a bit, knocked on the door, and took a few steps back.

"Who is it?" a voice behind the door asked.

"It's me, Hitsugaya. Are you coming or what?"

"Oh wait, just a second." When the door opened, he was astonished for the first time in his life.

There she was, Hinamori Momo, all dressed up in a white sweater with a blue tank top underneath and also a pink skirt that reached below her knee. The skirt has got butterfly stitching on her right side and to top it of, the skirt was doubled in a more transparent skirt with sparkles all over it. The sweater starts from the middle of her shoulders and above her hips and also below her elbows. There stood an angel before him. She kept her hair in a bun and a pair of silver 1 inch high heels accessorized her feet. Hinamori kept her head down due the embarrassment. Well, whether she's embarrassed or not, she looked absolutely gorgeous. Hitsugaya didn't even realize that his mouth was agape the whole time and the two stalkers just had to take photos of this!

"How do I look?" the peach girl asked shyly.

It took a while to get a response though. "Huh? You look absolutely beautiful, Hinamori." _'Please don't blush, please don't blush, please don't blush…'_ "These are for you, my lovely." He handed her the bouquet he was holding. And while that thing's out of the way, he can try to regain focus, hopefully…

Hinamori commented the flowers he gave her and placed the bouquet in a vase. She took a basket with her, and while she was walking toward Hitsugaya, he placed a hand over her bun.

"Hold on. There's something I don't like from your appearance tonight." The chocolate syrup haired maiden whimpered at the comment, yet she gasped when she felt his cold hands pulling on the cloth that covered the bun, letting her brown locks cascading down.

"Shiro-chan!"

"There, you look dashing."

At this, Hinamori blushed and her face could really resemble a tomato. "And don't worry, for tonight you may call me Shiro-chan,…"

"Ariga…"

"…Bedwetter Momo."

"Mou, Shiro-chan!" Hitsugaya had to cover his mouth with his hand to cover his impolite laugh. And so they're off to a destination. And by 'they', those two shinigami stalkers are count too.

* * *

The two, err… four finally stopped at Junrin'an, the 1st district of Rukongai and Hitsugaya and Hinamori's childhood memorable scenary. It was actually full moon, so beauty of Mother Nature actually helped on those to-be lovers' date.

"This place just really can't have a weatherman, can it? I mean this place is hot during the day, yet at night it's below 20 degrees! I'm freezing!"

"Well, I'm not."

"Easy you, you had the lightning element. You can heat yourself. I have water and dark elements! I'll freeze myself!"

"Good luck with that. While you're at it, we're at the best scene. Looks like they're really enjoying those watermelons."

"Wait, how did they get watermelons in the first place?" the mahogany haired shinigami asked.

"It came from the basket. Shush it! Your taicho's gonna say something."

The host of Hyorinmaru sighed as he finished his last watermelon, in other words, his 8th. He made sure that his vocal cord was okay, his tune was alright, and his temper cool as ice. He didn't want anything to go out of plan. He wanted everything to be perfect. He cleared his throat one more time and then…

"Momo, I just want to say that… I love you, with all my heart and soul, and I don't want anyone taking you away from me. I promise I will protect you from any harm."

That was surprisingly easy.

**NOT! **

"So do you feel the same, about me?"

Hinamori just bashfully nodded and leaned forward. Hitsugaya did the same. The bliss helped a lot on their first date. The smell of watermelons and peaches were everywhere.

Closer, closer…

Just a few bits more…

Little more centimeters…

Bell chimes getting louder…

We're gonna hit the jackpot…

Warmer, warmer, hot as volcano!

3… 2… 1…

**SPATACRASH!!!**

"I really should stop that clumsy habit of yours. Maybe starting a week from now."

Some say maybe it was something fell from the tree, but in this case, someone fell off the tree. Natsume groaned when she tried to lift her face from the ground. Even the evil, evil carpet was nicer than the solid ground. Not succeeding, she tried to lift her body using her hands on her sides. It worked very well!

"3rd seat Arashi Natsume, what are you doing here?" Hitsugaya asked with a glare sticking on his face. Ooh, that creepy, creepy glare. Icy, molten cold iceberg glare. That scary, stinging, dark shade-ish face… okay I'll stop now.

"What are we doing here?"

_15 minutes later…_

"Umm, we were taking photos of the Junrin'an, the top selected scenery for this year's Shinigami Women Association calendar. We were going to pick some more, uh, sunset-ish place but, uh, Kurotsuchi-taicho just had to bomb that certain place for a gloomier place, so there, ha-ha!" the black haired shinigami with a few purple strands said trying to make up an excuse, incoherently.

"Yeah, that's right! A 'Shinigami Women Association' calendar photo! And fancy meeting you two here of all people! What a coincy-dink!" Natsume said, just as incoherently as Hokairi was.

"Natsume-san, I don't think this an appropriate behavior for you. Stalking others like that, you should have known better. Would you rather get your rank reduced, hmm? Your punishment is…" and ranting just went on and on and on…

"Oi, hey uh, Hitsugaya-taicho? Are you sure Matsumoto-san's even doing the paperwork?" Hokairi asked, a light bulb, with a very bright light suddenly popped on top of her head. Ooh, it's shiny…

And she was ignored. Hello? Phone for you? Photo-evidence emergency delivery?

"Ya know I'm holding the camera, rite? Your reputation's in my hands, hello? Ding-dong, anyone home? I got the photos, don't ya want 'em?"

She was ignored, yet again. "Ah, what the heck…" the slightly cocky member of the 11th division went to the 10th and spring into action!

* * *

Loud snoring came from the person still sleeping on the sofa. Hokairi could only wish for the strawberry blond fukutaicho to snore even louder.

"Sake… sake… Ichimaru… Hitsugaya-taicho… is annoying… sake… sake…"

Subconsciously, Matsumoto's hand reached out to grab any bottle of sake on the table. But what she didn't know that the violet eyed shinigami switched the sake with a bottle of tea she's been holding with her sash. Just when the leaf-flavored entered her throat…

**SPURT!!!**

"What the hell…?"

"Ya might wanna try some of that. It's real good for ya!" Hokairi interrupted with a quirky grin on her face

"That's what you get for staying in the 11th division for too long. Why don't you choose a much more disciplined division? The 13th might do you good."

"Nah, I don't wanna. Ukitake-taicho's nice and all, but I like hangin' out with mah buddies from the 11th."

Matsumoto blew raspberries. "Anyway, is there anything you would like to tell me, Jasune-san? Or sabotaging me with a tea is all there is for you to be here?"

"Actually, I do have something. And it's about Hitsugaya-taicho too!"

From frown to evil smirk, it's not that far. "I'm all ears."

"Okay here's the dealy." Hokairi handed her the photos she had been taking and whispered something as Matsumoto's eyes widen with mischief.

* * *

The Next Day, at the 13th division…

Kiyone yawned as she stretched herself for the day's activities. When she was all dressed up and ready to give the kind-hearted yet tuberculosis suffering Ukitake-taicho his morning papers, somebody was ahead of her.

"Hey, what the heck do you think you're doing?! It's my turn today to give taicho his papers!"

"No way, it's my turn today!" Sentarō Kotsubaki, the one who shared the same position as Kiyone, yelled.

"Nu-uh, mine!"

"Mine!"

"No, mine!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Hu-uh!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Hu-uh!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Hu-uh!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Hu-uh!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Good morning, you two." Ukitake said, with a very gleeful smile on his smile. Looks like he's all little better today.

"Oh. Morning, Ukitake-taicho!" Kiyone then quickly snatched the bundle of newspapers then handed them to the tuberculosis suffering taicho. "I, Kiyone, have brought your morning paper."

"Say what? I saw them first, Kiyone-san. You woke up late, so I got the chance to hand them out to Ukitake-taicho!"

"Ah-ha! So it was my turn! You no-good cheater!"

"Lazy butt!"

"Job stealer!"

"Magazine-traitor!"

"That was only once!"

"Yeah, and you just had to take photos of him with Soi Fon. Lucky you they didn't get out."

"I'd rather take Ukitake-taicho's sexy photos instead of your ugly ones."

"I dare you to say that again!"

"Ugly! Fug-pug-ugly!"

"Why you…"

The ramblings of both 3rd seats go on and on as Ukitake scrambled through his morning papers. Then something caught his eyes. A new release of 'Shinigami Women Association Weekly' was out, and as Ukitake stared at the front cover…

Oh. My. God!

"**WRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

Kiyone and Sentaro, who were fighting over 'who-got-the-morning-papers-in-the-first-place', halted instantly as they heard the enraged scream of the 10th division's captain.

"What the hell…? What's going on?"

"Don't tell me Matsumoto forget to work on his paperwork again?"

Ukitake, whose face was now smiling ear-to-ear with glittery and sparkly roses behind him, still stared at the front cover of the magazine and a few seconds later started flipping the pages.

"I wouldn't worry about it too much if I was you two. All I can feel now is that someone is only a few steps away from maturity. Now that all he needs is time for him and Hinamori-san to be… _alone._" He said the last word with more glitters and roses in the background, and this time plus colorful butterflies and a rainbow above his head.

"Huh?" Sentaro and Kiyone just stared at each other; both equally thought if they need to bring Ukitake to an ear doctor immediately.

* * *

Please review! I dunno if I did it good or not, so please tell me ^^


	2. Waste Not, Want Not

Here's the second chapter! Enjoy!

Oh, and before I forget, there's a new OC joining. It's Yakasaki Yoryu created by ShiinaUchiha18 from YouTube.

I don't own Bleach. If I do, Karin would never have met Hitsugaya, Gin wouldn't be such an (excuse me) asshole, and Aizen would've been pawned a long time ago. Also, the Vizards helped the shinigamis in the next manga chapter release because I'm curious!

* * *

"**HOKAIRI, OPEN UP THIS INSTANT, YA LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!!!" **

Natsume banged on Hokairi's bedroom door, first thing in the morning. Doesn't she know any manners? Ikkaku and Yumichika, who for once-in-a-lifetime woke up early, saw the miniature commotion and walked toward the orange-haired 3rd seat.

"What's all the yelling?"

Natsume turned around, glaring at Ikkaku, and faced her face to Yumichika.

"You! You read the latest release of 'Shinigami Women Association', didn't you?"

"Well, yeah, but only for a few make-up tips." Yumichika answered, but still unsure.

"You saw the front cover, right?"

"No. Because, there are no one is fit enough to be on the front cover of magazine, except for _moi._"

The (cough) almost-no-haired shinigami, Ikkaku, just sweatdropped in the background. "Would it kill ya to be a normal guy for once, Yumi?" Ikkaku said while hanging Hozukimaru on top of his shoulders.

"I spent countless time to be a perfect man, Ikkaku, not a normal guy, thank you very much. Besides, guys envy _me_. Not _I_ envy them." The feminine looking guy, err… man said as-matter-a-factly.

"See? See?! Look at this! Look who's on the cover!"

Ikkaku snatched the magazine and looked at the said cover boringly. "Hey, isn't that Hinamori-kun and… Hitsugaya-taicho?"

Yumichika, slightly regretting didn't look at the cover and that he had to act surprised, glanced at the cover yet trying to hide his surprised look (not working).

"'sup, ya'll?"

"Hokairi, we've gotta hide, NOW!"

"Why? Your taicho found out that we stalked on his date yesterday with Hinamori-kun and as for punishment for ignoring me trying to explain and continued nagging on you, then I gave the photos to Matsumoto-san, and that this morning he saw the latest release of the 'Shinigami Women Association' and that the front was him only a few centimeters from kissing Hinamori and at page 11 there's an article about them and the magazine team lead by Shuuhei Hisagi typed all various things about his date and how they got freaky later on but not yet, and now you're worried that Hitsugaya-taicho's gonna freeze us entered us to the icicle contest in December so we had to run for our undead lives?" Hokairi said like it was all nothing.

Wonder who taught her to talk this fast, eh?

"For the record, I blame you" Ikkaku said mock-smirking.

"Hey!"

"…. Yeah. Come on, let's go!"

"I'm comin'. Hey, Yumichika! Panchiko-head! If Hitsugaya-taicho asked where we are, just say you dunno, kay?"

Yumichika and Ikkaku just gave her thumbs' up.

A pause.

"**WHAT THE HELL?! QUIT CALLING ME PANCHIKO-HEAD!!!"**

**

* * *

**

_Stretch… stretch… stretch… crack!_

A figure from stood from the darkness. And as she walked silently toward the two mischievous shinigamis it reveals the face of…

"Hi, you guys!!!"

A quite cheerful shinigami with no clue of what's going on. What the hell?

"Yu-chan, is that you?"

The orange-haired, tied to the right just grinned innocently, not knowing that two of her best friends are in BIG TIME TROUBLE. She's actually smart enough to be sharing the same seat as Natsume, only guess she's a little hyper for her own good. Her name is Yakasaki Yoryu, one of the most unsophisticated shinigami you'll ever know. She looked like a standard shinigami, only she had a bell-collar around her neck. Just add a few whiskers and you'll mistake her as house cat. Albeit, not a tame one.

"Yosh! It's me! Your best buddy! So, what are we going to today? Fishing? Zanpakuto lessons? Rock climbing? Sky-diving? Huh, huh?"

"No, a 100 km jogging lesson from Madarame-san just for you."Hokairi said sarcastically. "WOULD YOU BE QUIET?! WE'RE NOT EXACTLY IN THE SITUATION OF PLAYING HERE!!!"

A pause. Frog croaking. Creak-keak. Webeek…

Loading… processing… DONE!

"Oh… okay! Anything I can help you with?"

"Either you can bring me a glass of water and a balsam for my aching feet, or you can help us find a place to hide." Natsume said while massaging her tomato red feet, and it looked like it's going to grow a new foot, judging by the bruise.

"DONE!" In less than 15 seconds a glass of water and a balsam were already on her hands. And Natsume called Hokairi as a Doraemon pocket for bringing cameras and handycams from her robe. That'd make sense… "Now to find a place to hide. How 'bout Kurosaki's house?"

"That's the first place your taicho's gonna look." The host of chiraikou answered, taking a sip of her tea."

"Shinigami Women Association?"

"Isn't he right there now complaining about the magazine?" Natsume murmured and then rubbed her foot with the balsam. The scent stank!

"Okay, I've got no idea what's going on so let's continue. Urahara's shop?"

"Kisuke's not exactly reliable. Except if we bribe him with Yoruichi-san, but that's a long way down."

"Komamura's litter box?"

"You gotta go?"

"No."

"Then no. We're allergic to dog dirt."

"Okay then, it's settled. Kurotsuchi's lab it is!"

Both FBI's most wanted shinigamis exchanged looks then nodded in agreement of something. "You're crazy."

"I've been living down the title. No idea what it means." That's it. She's lost it.

"Okay, fine. How about Hanataro's janitor closet? It's clean, full of convenient environments, lots of closeable windows, and a few blankets are reserved."

"How did you know this?"

"Oh, I've been hiding there for a while. A few of Kurotsuchi's mutant experiments came to my dreams and I need to go somewhere they wouldn't look. Those mutants are scary…"

Natsume just sighed. "Which is worse? The mutants or Hitsugaya-taicho's carpet?"

Hokairi, who was patting Yoryu on the back snapped out of her thoughts as she heard the word 'carpet'. Why is it called carpet anyway? It's not drivable like a car, nor is it soft for patting. That's right! That thing is evil…

"Sounds good to me. How much time is left for us to run?"

A pause, again.

"**SOTEN NI SAZE, HYORINMARU!!!!!"**

Please enjoy the summer background and happy faces all around while a blizzard attacked Seireitei.

Like I said, a blizzard attacked Seireitei, making it as a new Winter Wonderland where everyone can take a day off, have fun in the snow, making snow angels, and sipping hot cocoas. Unfortunately, this is a pretty crucial time to be taking those activities.

"I was going to say, zero."

"Now that we're in a pretty bad time, follow me to our new hideout, Hanataro's janitor closet!~"

Natsume just twitched her eyes as she dragged, yes she dragged, her feet to the said temporary hideout. Come to think of it, this balsam doesn't do any good, nor is Hokairi's tea.

"I've been wondering… why are we doing this again?"

"For that you can ask the damn author."

You know, I can hear you clearly from up here.

* * *

The janitor's closet might need some cleaning. The place is quite comfortable for someone who might just want to stay to hide. Nonetheless, the place is quite dirty. You can just see a few broken brooms and mops, an almost shattered window, the never-mopped floor (well, at least there's no carpet), and a few abandoned spider webs, whose owner seems to have left them because it felt uncomfortable being stuck in a stinky closet without anyone to scare.

Wait, I forgot this is a fanfiction so you can't see anything. (Heh-heh…)

"Here we are! And here are the blankets."

Yoryu threw the said blankets to the other female shinigamis. The blankets could have been guessed that the color was purple, but because it was cooped inside a cupboard in the closet for so long, their colors were slowly evaporate. They smell like rotten cheese and unwashed socks and half of them were eaten by moths.

Frankly this place looked a lot more like garage than a closet.

"Hey this place was a lot comfortable when I first came here!"

I'm just making a statement.

"Now let's just sit back, wait for 3 days. By the way, what trouble did you get in for in the first place?"

Hokairi who sulked while trying to find a good, soft material to use as a pillow for later, literally fell down because she stumbled on a plushy. Poor plushy… And while the flat-chested shinigami tried to get up…

"Hey!"

…Natsume just laughed the scene before her. "And you called me clumsy! Anyway, we got in trouble in the first place because we were stalking on Hitsugaya-taicho's date. And then because of Hokairi's _accident, _Matsumoto-san printed the photos and one of them is on the front cover of the latest 'Shinigami Women Association' release. Take a look!"

The feline look-alike shinigami had made one of the world's biggest frowns ever as looked at the front cover. "Taicho's… going out… with Hinamori-san?" she said between sobs. "So… I don't have a chance to go out with him! Whoooooaaaaaa!!!"

Here comes the flood. "Relax okay Yu-chan?" Hokairi said trying to comfort. "There are a lot of other guys in Seireitei. Hey, hey, heard that Hisagi-san's in love with you."

"Weeeeehh, but I want taicho! He's so cool and handsome and beyond gorgeous… and I wanna be the one to date him!!!" Somebody's got an umbrella? Author in trouble alert!

"For the love of Yumichika's make-up, what's got into you guys? All I can hear all day from you guys is 'Hitsugaya, Hitsugaya, Hitsugaya'. That's why I don't want to join the 10th division when we were offered. He's too short for my type. Besides, I like Hinamori-kun. She sweet, nice, and don't get me started on her looks. I swear, she's the best for Hitsugaya-taicho."

This is not helping…

"Now where did I put that thing? Ah, here we go! Stare at him for as long as I care."

Yoryu's crying ceased when she stared at the photo Hokairi gave her. "Oh my, who's the guy with hair that looks like a palm tree?"

"That's right! He's… wha? Gimme that!"

Hokairi soon snatched the photo as the heartbroken shinigami slash fangirl whimpered. "That's not it! That's my boyfriend, Envy! Now let's see… not that one, nope that's not it, uh-uh, nope, still wrong, hey look it's Ishida! No way, I'm not gonna let her have him. Nope, uh… here we go."

"Hey, hey, who's this?"

Yoryu stared at the boy in the picture. The boy looked for about 15 or 16 years old had blood red eyes with black comas around it. He is wearing a long-sleeved shirt that exposed the front of his chest and kimono-like trousers that its obi is replaced by a purple rope-made belt. Despite his (some might say) godlike features, this boy seems to have a long midnight-black hair that is gelled up so it looks like a duck's butt. In other words, she was staring at a photo of Uchiha Sasuke from the anime Naruto.

"KYAAAAA! SASUKE-KUN!!!!!" Yoryu shoted with hearts in her eyes that really hurted both the wanted female shinigamis. Some might say she is tomboy and spunky, that's the real her. But when it comes to Sasuke thingy, she'll change 180 degrees like a crazy fangirl. Shouting all the way, hugging the photo, and can't stop calling his name and reveres him.

"Now Hokairi, you really made her like a crazy fangirl again…" whispered Natusme to the other female shinigami while covered her ears with her hand because of the super-high-pitched-and-extra-loud from that feline-like girl.

"This kid has mood swings. Is it her time of the month?" Hokairi just sweated. Yeah, just second ago Yoryu was crying and now she is shouting and squealing on Sasuke's photo.

"And… oh… that pink haired ……, she was very useless! That little ……., ……., …… and ……. Oh! She doesn't deserve to be called a girl!"

This scene is inappropriate for children so a few words from before were censored.

"Phew, what a day… hey, w-what are you guys doing here?"

Just like that, Hanataro came inside the closet only to find three shinigamis inside his closet. Hanataro shook his head and rubbed his drowsy eyes to made sure he was seeing right. No one had ever come to this closet, ever, not as far as he knew. Well, except for the kitty shinigami that lost her whiskers.

"IM'MA KILL THOU!!!"

"This is just wrong. Y-y-you guys are probably lost or somewhat. I'll just call Unohana-taicho that you guys are h-here and you'll be sent to your divisions. It's pretty far away."

"No, we are not lost and you are coming with us!" Natsume grabbed one of his shoulders and quickly shoved the stated 'most bullied kid in the world' inside the closet with her.

* * *

"Hey, uh, can you take care of Hanataro over there? I think he's freezing."

Not far away from the trio, there lay Hanataro, spread eagle and frozen like a fallen snow statue. Hokairi sighed. It was embarrassing for a member of the 11th division to help a 4th division member, but deep down even though she looked like so solid and rather sadist, as you can imagine her putting Yumichika's lipstick on Ikkaku, she couldn't bear to see someone lay so helplessly while she can help him but did nothing.

So Hokairi asked for Yoryu to make a campfire and while the feline-look alike was at it, the 7th seat tried to heat the timid male shinigami. 4th division or not, he's still a shinigami. Ikkaku and Yumichika and the others would laugh at her if they saw her right now, and she could feel her cheeks heating from embarrassment.

"You know, this is my entire fault. If I hadn't been angry at Hitsugaya-taicho in the first place and sent Matsumoto-san the photos, we wouldn't be in this mess at all."

Natsume's sunset eyes softened as she heard her friend's statement. "Don't be. I'm the one who had the idea of stalking them in first place, and if I hadn't fallen down from that tree, we wouldn't have got caught and we would still have those photos for private. To be honest, what kind of a fangirl that wouldn't keep those precious moments?"

Both wanted shinigamis and –half thawing –Hanataro glanced at the aquamarine eyed orbs shinigami. "What? Don't drag me into this, I'm not saying anything."

"Well, we're all in this together. Friends?"

Natsume and Yoryu glanced and nodded. "The best."

Hokairi just flashed her doggish grin and giggled. Soon the giggles were replaced by laughter followed by the other signs of happiness.

"Oh and, 4th seat of 4th division, thank you, and I'm sorry. We're sorry, anyway."

Yoryu again carelessly flipped through the pages of the magazine in desperate hope of finding another Sasuke-photo and shrugged. "I'm not. Well, I'm hungry. I'm gonna go find something to eat, okay? A cat-furred wolf needs to go hunting."

The parody shinigami of 'Doraemon's magic pocket' stood up as she cupped the handle of the closet door. "I'm goin' out too. I need my fukutaicho to cover me one last time."

Natsume, already finished massaging her feet grabbed her friends' wrist with firm holds. "Hold it! You can't just zip through it like that. I mean look at you! You look like monsters! You have to blend in."

* * *

_A few mere seconds later…_

"Man, finding a grilled fish is harder that I thought when you're not in the 10th division. Not to mention my stomach growled so hard I couldn't even think. Oh well, hopefully there's a shop nearby."

_Sign says: Omaeda's Multipurpose Shop_

"G'night and welcome to Omaeda's shop! How may I help you?" The (cough) big-boned fukutaicho exclaimed as he popped out from behind the counter.

"Yeah, I'll just have some grilled fishes. How much is that?"

"Well, suspicious cloaked lady, that'd be –insertincrediblyhugeamountofmoneyhere- !"

"Thank you very… **WHAT?!"**

"Well I see that you can't afford them." Omaeda smiled smugly hoping that the customer would like to play a little game of guessing poker. The rules are simple, whoever answered the question the opponent correctly won, and also if they gave up, they would have to show their cards and see who had the biggest numbers of cards.

"**LET THE GAME BEGIN!!!"**

"……………………………….. What have I got myself into?"

"Okay, pick a card, any card. I see that you have 4 cards."

"So do you."

"Ah, yes! So, I, Omaeda, will go ask first. Are you ready?"

Yoryu just shrugged and groaned cat-likely. "Whatever."

"Okay then! Question number 1! Behold! Who is the most handsome and big-boned guy in the anime series of Naruto?!"

Let's take a peek of Yoryu's mind, shall we?

**::Yoryu's POV::**

_What the heck is up with this guy? He won't give me anything he sells and instead he wants to play guessing games. This guy's even more broken than I thought. _

_Loud stomach grumbling…_

_Aww, shit! Not now! Damn, I've gotta win this if I want those grilled fishes, but how can when this guy's boring me to death? Shit, shit, shit!!! Okay, think like an Omaeda… handsome and big-boned, eh? I could just say that it's Sasuke, but then again big-boned isn't in his features. I mean, he's cool, sadist, cold-hearted, handsome, gorgeous, a term for perfection, but big-boned? Think, think, think…_

**::Yoryu's POV:: End**

"Lady! Miss! Suspicious cloaked lady!" called Omaeda and snapped his fingers several times infront of Yoryu's face. "Huh? W-what?" yelped the orange-haired girl shocked, snapped out of her pictures of Sasuke. "Miss, you're zoning out! Are you going to answer or what?" asked the big-boned fukutaicho.

"Easy, it's Akimichi Choji."

"Wrong! It's Akimichi Choji! Eh, what?"

Ignoring the stare of the fatso in front of her, the spunky yet hyperactive shinigami danced her victory dance, much like Ikkaku's lucky dance.

Please don't make me type how she danced down there.

In a second, well less actually… **"OMAEDA!!!"**

Both presumably mutant from the day they were born shinigamis turned their heads to see an angry Soi Fon, who's in her shinigami captain uniform, but added an apron to it with the writing 'I LOVE GRILL FISHES' stitched on it. And to top it off, she also had a chef hat on the top of her twin braided hair and let's not forget the oven mittens and the spatula in her bone-cracking grip.

"Omaeda, get in the kitchen quick! I'm a captain and you're a vice-captain! How the heck did you make to grill those fishes instead, huh? And look at this young girl over here! You expanded the price and forced the customer to play those stupid games?! That's it! It's your fault that your family gone bankrupt last time! Starting tomorrow, you'll close this shop and sell your jewelries I found in your room, got it?"

Omaeda gulped, then stuttered, gulped, and stuttered. There is nothing scarier than angry captains, now is it? Heh, that's how we get in this mayhem in the first place.

"Ye-yes, taicho… but why my jewelries? Can't we just sell your black cat collection instead?"

"Sh-shut up! Those collections are very important to me! Now OUT!

"But…"

"**OUT!"**

Omaeda then gone helter-skelter out of the shop and collected all his jewelries.

"And you take whatever you want in this shop for free. We don't care about them anymore."

For a few seconds, anyone would have swore they saw an evil smirk crept among the feline-look-alike's face.

* * *

Yoryu dragged her (cough) sack full of fishes –and for some reason, a book –to the hideout. There was nobody realized she was there. Hanataro was sleeping very peacefully, but that didn't stop him from drooling and Natsume was… eh…

"_Neh! Neneneneh! Neneh! Neneneneh! Neh!" _

"Natsume-chan, what are you doing?"

There was Natsume, sat on the wooden floor, with a pair of earphones attached to her ears, with her hands and fingers in a very awkward position. Firstly, her left arm was bent with the elbow on her knee and her fingers looked like they were pressing something, like strings. And her right arm was down and the fingers were the same as the left ones.

"Huh? Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Looks very odd to me."

"Pipe down, Yoryu-chan. I'm trying to practice my air guitar lesson. Maybe if I'm good enough, I'll be able to take over Seireitei, take down Aizen with my own hands, drop the existence of Ichigo x Orihime, build the adoption centre of infant cats and… eh… why are you looking at me like that?"

"You're not gonna lock me up in the cat adoption centre, are you?"

"Maybe."

"If you really want to take over the world, you might want to buy a real guitar first."

Natsume pouted and let out a loud 'hmph!' as she folded her arms in front of her chest. Well, she tried. "You're just jealous because I'm a better air guitarist than you."

Then a loud creak was heard and the door banged open. "Tadaima."

"Okaeri. You're finished?"

"Yep, and they didn't even know I was there. I'm pretty good." Hokairi said with a sly grin on her face.

"Oh, so that's why you brought your fukutaicho here."

"That's right! I… wha?"

The flat-chested shinigami…

"QUIT CALLING ME THAT!"

…turned around to see a ball with the color of bubblegum pink. But not just any ball. It was, of course, Yachiru biting on candy cane with an innocent smile on her face. "Hi, Bunny!"

With that, 'Bunny' fainted. Please don't ask why Hokairi was called 'Bunny' because this will be revealed in chapter 3.

* * *

I really gotta stop updating near Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood hours. Well, I'm off. TTYL and please review! :)


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